Wanting to create something, but unable to make a start. Frustrated. Angry. Sad. No self-belief or self-confidence. A dark place.
"But that's how it is for creative people", they said - Tortured. (thanks Vincent)
The result was that I stopped making any kind of art for 30 years
When I started making art again I did it just for me. I wasn't going to show it to anyone. I didn't want anyone's approval. Most importantly, I didn't expect anything from it, whether it was good or bad didn't matter.
That was the first step in my journey
I'd simply removed some of the obstacles and all of a sudden I'm making art and I'm enjoying it.
As I started to get to grips with what was happenning I became incredibly prolific. Although I wasn't focusing on portraits I just started making them. First in oils then in charcoal and since I'd never worked in either medium before, I took it as a sign that what I was doing was something special. As if my creativity had been set free!
So what's going on?
From being creatively crippled all those years ago I'm suddenly making portraits every day and loving every minute of it.
Nothing was stopping me.
I focused only on doing it. Not whether I would produce something good or if someone would like it or whether I had the right tools or skills.
And since then I've made 1000's of portraits